Most Indians seem to lack a sense of humour, and so one has to be careful before cracking jokes in India.
For instance, some years back I put up a Facebook post saying that since Pakistanis are constantly demanding Kashmir and harping about it, we should tell them that we are willing to give them Kashmir provided that they take Bihar along with it also.
Now anyone with a little common sense can understand that this was obviously a joke. Who am I, a retired judge, to give Bihar to Pakistan? And Bihar is far away from Pakistan, not a state like Punjab or Rajasthan contiguous to it. So how can it be given to Pakistan?
But most Biharis thought otherwise. Huge processions in many cities of Bihar were taken out against me, in which my posters were blackened and then burnt, my effigies hanged, and had I been in Bihar at that time, perhaps I may have been lynched, hanged, and burnt too for this monstrous ‘insult’ to the honour of Bihar.
Even the Chief Minister of Bihar, Nitish Kumar, castigated me in a speech.
Criminal cases for sedition, etc., were instituted against me.
Markandey Katju booked for sedition after offering Kashmir and Bihar to Pakistanhttps://t.co/Mi2wO9XAGC pic.twitter.com/mUBqmXUqVz
— The Indian Express (@IndianExpress) September 28, 2016
While all this ‘hungama’ was going on, I met Mrs. Meira Kumar, then Speaker of the Lok Sabha, at the Delhi airport lounge (where both of us were waiting for our separate flights). She is also from Bihar, and I told her I was only joking when I said Bihar should be given to Pakistan. She smiled and said, “Katju saheb, ab aap kuch din Bihar mat jaiyega” (Justice Katju, for some time you should not go to Bihar).
Thinking that discretion is the better part of valour, I apologised to the people of Bihar.
The Odisha Incident and Further Jokes
Following this episode, some persons from Odisha asked me to write something about Odiyas.
So I wrote this on my fb page:
“Some Odiyas have asked me to comment about them.
What is there to say about these poor chaps? Ever since the thrashing they got at the hands of Emperor Ashok in the battle of Kalinga over two thousand years ago, they have been a dejected lot. Now all they have with them are a lot of pots (Patras), big pots (Mahapatras), and supposedly intelligent kings (Patnaiks).
And of course they also have Lord Jagannath, to whom they pray every day for revenge against the abominable Biharis.
Read More: ‘Laanat Hai Aap Par’
Again, this post was in a lighter vein. But many Odiyas thought otherwise. As in Bihar, an agitation was launched against me in Odisha; processions were taken out, my posters blackened and burnt, and my effigies hanged.Â
I was in my flat in Noida (adjacent to Delhi) at that time, and thus far away from Odisha. But Odiyas living in Delhi came near my apartment and shouted, “”Markande (Markandey Katju, come to your senses). ). Some even came to my flat and handed over a bouquet of flowers with a note: “Get well soon, Mr. Katju.”
Again I quickly apologised to Odiyas before things went out of hand.
Jokes About Sikhs and Other Communities
I once posted this joke on Sardars (Sikhs).
“A Sardarji was invited to a dinner party. The invitation card said, ‘Black tie only.’.
When the Sardarji reached the party, he found people wearing shirts and pants also.
Some Sikhs, on reading this fb post, filed a petition in the Supreme Court (from where I had retired) praying that an order should be passed banning Sardarji jokes. The matter was referred by the Supreme Court to Justice HS Bedi (a retired judge of the Court who was himself a Sikh) for his opinion. Justice Bedi opined that the petition was frivolous, and he himself, though a Sikh, often cracked Sardarji jokes. The petition was then promptly dismissed.
However, there are some Indians having a sense of humour too, like the Nagas. I once wrote this about them.
“I would like to be invited to Nagaland. Nagas were once headhunters, and I am a bit attached to my neck. However, I believe you have now given up that nasty habit. And I don’t mind being bitten (sorry, smitten) by a beautiful Nagin.
Nagas laughed at that joke.
Similarly, when asked to say something about MP (Madhya Pradesh), I wrote on FB.
“All I know about MP is that there is a Chambal Valley there with a lot of dacoits in it.”.
No one from MP objected.
Similarly, no Tamilian objected when I wrote:
“Tamilians cannot think; they can only think.”
(There are no aspirated consonants in Tamil like th, kh, gh, ph, bh, jh, dh, etc. So a Tamilian will say ‘I tink’ instead of ‘I think’ and ‘tank you’ instead of ‘thank you.’
People of UP also did not object when I called UP ‘Ulta Pradesh.’
India is vast, so my advice to anyone thinking of cracking a joke here is to first find out whether people in a particular region have a sense of humour or not before doing so.
Markandey Katju is an Indian jurist and former Supreme Court judge of India who served as chairman for the Press Council of India. He has also worked as Standing Counsel for the Income Tax Department.